How to cope with the digital world in the family

We are all aware that we live in an era of epochal changes, which are revolutionizing not only our daily habits but even the
development of the brains of the youngest children as they enter this increasingly digitized world. There are many categories of scholars (psychologists, sociologists, scientists) who are analyzing this very delicate transition in human evolution, in which smartphones, tablets, PCs and electronic games overwhelmingly fill our days keeping us always connected at the expense of the development of imagination, emotions and the ability to socialize.

It will take time to understand the consequences of this new lifestyle, which is too often assimilated without paying proper attention to what we are living, letting ourselves be carried away by new habits that are often unhealthy for our physical and mental well-being.

Adults are the first to be overwhelmed by this real "revolution," often lacking the proper tools to know how to deal with it. At work as well as in their personal lives, they are absorbed in the use of devices to follow social media, respond to work emails, search for information on the Internet, book a movie theater online, respond to a message from a WhatsApp group, with the terrible consequence that the smartphone becomes like a veritable extension of the arm.

But how aware are we of the fact that children and young people look to adults, whether a parent, a coach or a professor, as significant figures from whom they can learn and assimilate? Identification is an integral part of the growth process, and "good example" is certainly the first key to unhinging habits that prove increasingly harmful.

It turns out that 51% of young people between the ages of 15-20 have serious difficulties in detaching themselves from electronic devices for a certain amount of time; going three hours without a cell phone becomes pure utopia. Teens check their smartphones an average of 75 times a day, and 7% even up to 110 times. Adults, don't fare much better. 49% of people over 35 check their cell phones at least 43 times a day, and 6% up to 65 times.

How then to deal with the problem in the family?
As a Professional Organizer I am in direct contact with parents, children and young people, and managing the digital world is often a serious problem. Parents without awareness are unfortunately not a few, too often unaware of the consequences that the abuse of devices (play station, cell phones, tablets) produces. Imagination needs to be cultivated and boredom needs to be managed, the smartphone and play station are easy answers to keep children occupied, and healthy alternatives are easily given up.

Smartphone use (for young and old)
It always starts with awareness, before you cast your eyes toward your children analyze your habits. How much do you use your cell phone upon returning home after a long day at work? Imposing times when the cell phone is not used by any family member can be a starting point and a clear message that you want to create an atmosphere of conviviality and discussion.

At what age do you put cell phones in your children's hands? The later you start, the better! Too many times tablets and cell phones are used to "engage" very young children (just look around the restaurant), a viable alternative is paper and colors!

It can be helpful (for both you and your children) to turn on the mode on your cell phones that tells you how much you use them; it also tells you which apps you use the most. At the end of the days check the cell phones of everyone in the family, unfortunately you may have some sad surprises, but only awareness will help you change habits that turn out to be bad.

Also, when studying, the cell phone should not be on the desk, even better if it is in another room because it is a not inconsiderable disruptive element, to the detriment of concentration and attention development.

The best way to facilitate sleep is undoubtedly reading and not using a cell phone, as too many kids do. It is advisable, again, to leave the cell phone outside the bedroom and purchase a small alarm clock that will replace the smart phone alarm clock. Today we talk about the phenomenon of "Vampiring" which consists of the harmful habit of staying up late at night to chat, pause on social media, among other things, taking precious hours away from one's sleep.

The use of the play station
Create together with the children a schedule (it will be an opportunity to give space for creativity) with specific times (ideally one hour a day every other day). The use of a timer will help them stick to the schedule and be more aware of the time they spend on a game that unfortunately does not cultivate their
imagination.

Propose good alternatives
Imposing only rules and prohibitions can be challenging (though useful and important) it is also appropriate to propose something enticing, which will stimulate in kids the desire to share valuable time with you and cultivate their imagination. Board games come to our aid; they are a good alternative for cultivating relationships and leaving aside all things electronic. You will be amazed how even teenagers will follow enthusiastically, I was able to get my 14-year-old son's friends involved in playing story-cubes, one of the games I love most, 9 dice with different figures on each side, once thrown you have to make up stories, room for imagination!

Socializing is important
To keep boys away from the digital world good allies are sports and socializing (music, foreign language or theater classes, scout meetings). But also, if you can, allow boys to invite friends home to enjoy various board games; on these occasions a cell phone collection is strongly recommended.

The age in which we live offers us so much, but as parents or educators we have a new task, not to let children and young people (but also to adults) be totally absorbed by a digital world that does not allow a healthy evolution of emotions, development of attention and imagination.